


Heroine

by Mythpigg



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 19:55:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16394081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythpigg/pseuds/Mythpigg





	Heroine

I don't know enough pretty words to tell you all the ugly things about me  
I don't know how to say that it was both of our fault  
and so I blamed you 

Being with you felt like a void uncovered,  
but still unfilled

I wanted to rot you from the inside out  
But all I really did was poison myself  
I realize now that I did not--never did-- love unconditionally

Because loving people forgive  
And it was never my intention to have you  
be your own person

You were my reflection, a projection of  
everything I thought I had ever needed  
I birthed you screaming out for a crutch to walk myself back home with

I had only lived in a tiny, airless dorm for 9 months,  
but seemed to stretch on past the mountains.  
I cried on each of these mountain tops. 

I packed all my things into a box, buried the body  
and was left with white, clean walls.  
Better reconciled with time and space.

But I'm still holding that bloated dead body  
grotesque yet... comforting,  
A horrific thing to say aloud.  
I wore the word independent like a badge, but never the word single. 

But I only ever loved a cold body  
something altogether separate from love and friendship and trust  
There was something innate about you that I couldn't love  
Something innate that I wouldn't love about myself

Maybe there's really nothing wrong with me.  
Maybe this body is just a side effect of "I just don't think I love you anymore"  
But I'm tired of waking up to find this dirt-covered corpse in bed with me every morning

I want to grow past my skin until I'm reborn something new  
Something akin to Divine  
I want to love unconditionally  
But I still feel atonement on the horizon.  
not for him, but for me  
I want to love myself until I'm whole again  
And loving people forgive


End file.
